Ultimately God Starts Labor

People are always trying to find ways to start labor so that they can give birth. I'm in one of those modes currently as I am ready to have my baby and have been for a couple of weeks. A week ago my doctor asks me, "This is your 6th and you do not know what puts you into labor?" which really frustrated me because the answer is NO! Of my previous 5, three of my babes were induced and the two that were not induced had not connection of me doing this or that to put me into labor.

The conclusion: only God can ultimately start your labor. 

This is true even when induced. My 5th took forever to kick in even with pitocin running through my veins. God and God alone puts us into labor. God and God alone brings forth life. With my first I tried everything I was comfortable with to attempt to get my labor to start on its own, and nothing worked. My body was ready, but it never kicked in on its own. By God's grace a pictocin induction worked for me. With each I have tried different things at different times and for me nothing is the "Key". This is not true for everyone. Some people know exactly what puts them into labor, which is God's grace. Some never go into labor on their own, but need help. This is God's grace too, because it reminds us that He is ultimately in control and we are not.

What is your experience with labor starting? How have you seen God working in it.

Matthew's Birth

From the Archives

Baby number five was an odd challenge.  We thought we were done after number four.  But not long after we brought number four home, our eldest started saying, “God is going to give us another baby.”  We would shake our heads and say “Ok” and move on.  Then he started saying, “God is going to give us another baby and it is going to be a boy.”  Mind you, he is six and we already decided we were done; two boys and two girls seemed perfect.  Besides we were running out of room in the van.  When he started saying, “God is going to give us another baby and it’s going to be a boy and we’ll name him Matthew” we started to wonder. 

Then we got pregnant.  I am not one of those women who love being pregnant.  I am “morning sick” all day and way past 12 weeks. Also, I carry way out front, like so far that it scares people when I turn around in the end of pregnancy, “whoa! I totally didn’t know you were pregnant, you’re huge!” 

So we had to find out if this would be a boy baby, and get used to the idea of a baby with the name Matthew.  When I looked it up in our names dictionary, I discovered something cool.  Matthew means gift of God, and so does Nathanael, our eldest.  So the name seemed super fitting considering the surrounding circumstances.

Our first hiccup came with my initial blood work.  I got a call back from the midwife’s office saying they were referring me to maternal-fetal specialists because one of my labs came back elevated.  We found out at maternal-fetal that my anti-e was elevated.  Basically, the thing to worry about was if Matthew’s blood type was incompatible with mine, then at some point my body would consider him a threat and my antibodies would go after him and his blood supply.  He went on to say this usually happens in high frequency pregnancy mamas—this being number seven for me, it all made sense to him.  So as long as this anti-e stayed below a certain number there was no worry.  This meant I could continue to see the midwives, but had to get poked at every appointment.

Thankfully that lab work never spiked again!  My pregnancy was normal up to the going one week past my due date.  My parents got in town and the next day I was timing contractions again.  They would taper off if I lied down in the last week, but this day they wouldn’t just go away.  I tried doing dishes, still they were there.  I tried lying on the couch, now they started to take my breath away.  I sent my husband a text message at 2 saying they wouldn’t go away.  He left work.  At three o’clock I left the house with the library books that were due that day, asking my husband to just drive to the drop box on the way to the hospital.  Halfway there, we changed our minds.  It was getting harder and harder to concentrate, and we weren’t going to make it if we detoured.

I checked into the desk and they got the room ready.  My midwife came in and looked at me and said she was going to go down the hall to tell the other mother she had there that she was going to stay with me because she was not going to miss delivering this baby.  She came back in and broke my water to make it easier.  Forty-five minutes after checking in at the front desk we had Matthew in our arms!  It was wonderfully fast and during the day! 

The next morning, my husband brought up all the brothers and sisters to meet Matthew.  As they were walking up to the hospital Hannah started to skip and fell.  She ended up spending half the day after meeting Matthew waiting in the ER with Dad for 5 stitches to close up her chin.

God was merciful to us in giving us one more gift of a son.  We wouldn’t trade any of our five kids or their birth stories for anything.  Our van is completely amazed out now, and my husband is building a triple bunk bed for the boys.  God is good.

~ Shared by Laura A. 

Psalm 127

Psalm 127 is another great Psalm for preparing for labor as it reflects that God is the One who builds our homes. 

Unless the Lord builds the house,

They labor in vain who build it;

Unless the Lord guards the city,

The watchman keeps awake in vain.

2 

It is vain for you to rise up early,

To [a]retire late,

To eat the bread of [b]painful labors;

For He gives to His beloved even in his sleep.

3 

Behold, children are a [c]gift of the Lord,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

4 

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one’s youth.

5 

How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them;

They will not be ashamed

When they speak with their enemies in the gate.

Children are a heritage from the Lord, a gift. God is the building our homes as He gives us children. Pregnancy, labor and birth are part of this process. As you seek prepare for your family to grow, your pregnancy and your birth remember that God is ultimately in control. Hand your plans to Him and wait with anticipation to see what He will do.

What Scriptures speak to you?

The Struggle of Inviting God's Control

As I right this post, this is very much on my mind. I have written before about God being in every birth and this is true whether you invite Him or not. But I will tell you, when you invite Him in and relinquish your whole experience to Him, it is much easier to accept what comes your way. Right now, I am really having to invite God into my birth every moment. Current circumstance are causing me to strongly desire to take my birth into my own hands, but I know that that is not what is best for my baby or me. I find myself relinquishing control and then snatching it back. It's primarily a battle of the mind. Sometimes the Spirit is winning, sometimes the flesh. But it is ongoing and a bit wearisome.

God alone is our strength. God alone knows what is best for us. God alone will bring our babies into this world. Will you invite God into your birth?

How do you struggle with inviting God in?

Josiah's Birth

From the Archives

After the last three babies waiting till my mom was in town or on her way, my mother-in-law joked that she wasn’t coming to help after baby number 4 till my mom had visited.  Sure enough, the morning after my mom arrived, my water broke at 4am!  I woke my tired mom and let her know, and my husband and I headed to the hospital.  My midwife had said if my water breaks, come straight away since the last two babies were born shortly after having my membranes ruptured.

Off we went to the hospital, but again, no really painful contractions.  The ER nurse looked skeptical, but sent me up to L&D to check in.  My midwife met us up there and she checked me over.  She said she wouldn’t leave since her house was a good 45 minutes from the hospital.  After an hour of no real progress and irregular contractions she examined me again.  She said baby boy feels like he was facing my thigh rather than my tailbone, maybe that is why my contractions and labor are stalling.  So she told me to lie down on my side, so he is on his face and maybe he would turn.  She was going to go home.  She said to call her again when we reached 8cm. 

I lied down on my side and napped.  My husband went to the cafeteria and got breakfast.  He came back and I told him to go nap.  I wasn’t struggling through contractions, and could breathe through them on my own right now.  I would really need him later.  When the contractions began to regulate again and get more uncomfortable I woke him.  He called the nurse to come check me, and we were on our way to baby-time!  The midwife was called back and when she arrived we were just about ready.

I had been using the squat bar attached to the bed and loving that I could use it to support me how I was comfortable and my husband could rub my back during contractions.  The midwife had me lie down a bit and put my feet up on the squat bar, so I was still in the position of a squat, but now baby wasn’t wrapped around my pelvis.  I gave a few good pushes, and out was a blond baby boy!  First time we had a blond baby, and he was big—8lbs, 10oz! 

Then came the anatomy lesson.  After I delivered the placenta, the midwife said look at this. To which my husband was almost grossed out completely.  She said, look where the amniotic sac tore, it was 3 inches from a huge artery-looking thing.  She said this was a rare occurrence.  Usually the umbilical cord attaches directly to the placenta, but my baby’s had threaded its way across the amniotic sac before attaching to the edge of the placenta.  She said if the sac had torn 3 inches in the other direction both mom and baby would have died before we go to the hospital.  God had been merciful to us again! He not only gave us another healthy baby, but spared both our lives in protecting us!

Then came the other interesting trial.  The week of his due date I had developed a rash on my belly.  No fun in the middle of May.  I was terribly itchy and huge to boot.  After Josiah was born, the rash didn’t go away, it spread.  By the time I left the hospital, it was all over my body and spreading to even more unpleasant places.  For about a month after giving birth I wanted to peel my skin off.  Nothing brought relief.  Even my mother-in-law who frequently gets hives thought I looked miserable.  Eventually it faded, beginning with my belly, and I found relief in not having it.  They call it the PUPPs rash, and there is nothing you can do about it.  No one knows why it happens, and thankfully it only happened to me once!

~ Shared by Laura A.

When Should I Go To The Hospital in Labor?

If you are planning a hospital birth, I am quite sure this question is on your mind. Is any time to early? Is any time to late? The answer is a bit complex, given we all have different expectations of labor and birth.

If your water breaks you need to go to the hospital. Your labor may not start right away or it could come on quickly after or you may already be in the middle of labor. Either way, when your water breaks you know your baby is headed into the world one way or another. It's time to head to the hospital.

Doctor's tell us that we need to go to the hospital when contractions are every 5 minutes for 1 hour. While sound advice, I have found many people are not yet in labor when they come in for this or they are still in early labor with frequent contractions that are not strong enough to dilate the cervix. If your contractions are strong and this frequent, then go to the hospital if you desire. With a first baby, it is likely you still have a ways to go with one hour of contractions like this. With subsequent babies, it is a good indication you are close. Pray and ask for wisdom if it's time for you to go.

If you are desiring an epidural for your labor, the above rule is a good one to follow as long as you are in active labor. If you are wanting to avoid an epidural, then stay home until you know it is close to time to deliver. You ask, "How do I know?" All I can say is, you will know. When you move into transition it is obvious. When you move from early/prodromal labor into active labor it is obvious. Pay attention. Pray throughout.

If you are in any doubt about whether you should go ahead to the hospital, call your doctor's office. Generally speaking, if you are contracting regularly they will tell you to go. That's just the way it is. Know, then, how you desire to proceed once at the hospital, and make your desires known.

How did you decide when to go to the hospital?

How Do I Prepare for A Non-Medicated Birth?

This is a question I am asked quite frequently, especially since I have had 5 births without an epidural. I'm sure everyone who has had natural, unmedicated labor has different things they would advise, so here are some general tips.

1. Pray a lot! And when you think you have prayed all you can pray some more. Seriously, I could not have gotten through any of my labors without a lot of prayer. Many of my prayers reflect Psalm 23 or simply asking God for help and strength to get through this contraction.
2. Know what helps you to relax. This is going to be different for everyone. Maybe it's music. Maybe it's having some one massage your back, feet, hands etc. Perhaps silence with minimal lighting. Know yourself and know what is going to help you to be calm in an intense time.
3. Practice relaxing before you're in labor. Set aside a couple times each week at the very least to practice relaxing your body in the type of environment you would like to have for your labor. For example, if you plan to have music, put it on and practice relaxing with it. As you get closer to your due date, make this more frequent, with practice as many days as possible by 35 weeks. 
4. Memorize Scripture. This is such a great way to help you mentally concentrate on the Lord and not your circumstances. Find a Psalm or passage that really speaks to you and your relationship with God and focus on it. 
5. Plan to stay home as long as possible. You might think I'm a bit crazy with this one, but if you are healthy, the baby is healthy, your labor is progressing normally and your water has not broken, stay in your own environment as long as possible. Once you enter the hospital you are on their turf, their timetable and it becomes more difficult to get comfortable and relaxed. I have not had this luxury with most of mine, and am hoping this will be the case for my next one as my third, where I was home the most, was my best as a whole.
6. Do Exercises. These help prepare your body for the stretching and pressure that come with giving birth. I find these very helpful to do regularly, daily if at all possible.
7. Expect it to be hard. I really wish I had been better at this during my last labor. Because I had had fairly easy labors previously, I had forgotten that labor can be very hard. Prepare mentally for the worst and hopefully it will not be as bad as you are expecting.
8. In labor, take each contraction as it comes. Once you think, "Is it going to get worse than this?" you are already on your way to needing medicine. Instead say, "OK, here it comes," then relax as you have practiced. Contractions will get more intense toward the end, generally speaking, but if you take each as it comes, you will likely make it. 
9. In labor, ask your providers not to ask you if you want medication. They generally will tell you what medicine is available to you, but afterward you can say thank you for letting you know and that you will let them know if you need anything. 
10. Know who you want in your room ahead of time. If you want the bare minimum number of people, then arrange that. Let people who might want to be there know that you desire for them to wait until after the birth. If you have unwanted guests and are uncomfortable saying something you can always ask your nurse or provider to be the bad guy and tell people to leave. If you want many, know that some places will not allow more than 3 or so extra people. Find out what the policies are where you are planning to deliver.

What is your advice? How do you prepare for a natural labor?

Revised from "Tips for Preparing for Natural Labor" on "Childbirth Conversations", May 15, 2014