Childbirth Conversation Recap

This Childbirth Conversation was such a blessing! We had a small group, but it was a wonderful time of dialogue and reflecting on the goodness of our God who is the giver of all life. We read Scripture, talked about fears, shared stories and how we have made the decisions we have made. It was such a blessing to hear diversity in birth. We also had the blessing of a Sister from Cameroon to hear differences in how things happen in other countries. I am so thankful for a time of encouragement and refreshment as I prepare for birth and I hope it was a good time for others.

From our conversation there are two things I'd like input on.

1. There was discussion on husbands not being well prepared for birth or knowing their role in birth. I have also had some men ask if they could come to know what their wives are asking when describing this time.
Would you be willing to have Childbirth Conversations with husbands present either part or all of the time?

2. I wish someone would have told me _____ about pregnancy/birth/afterbirth.
How would you fill in this blank?

I'm really wanting this blog to be a place that is helpful and practical and want to know what would help you!

Thank you for being part of the conversation!

Kate's Birth

A little background- Josh and I have been married for almost 5 years- 9/4/10. We always knew we wanted kids, and motherhood was more than a dream for me- it was like a life requirement. I never expected to deal with infertility because I am extremely healthy and have always had regular periods. After about 2 years of trying, we discovered that I had a uterine anomaly- a huge muscular septum. I also had very poor quality eggs. This was all extremely devastating. We looked into adoption and actually got packets from a couple of agencies. Our very good friends (small group leaders, actually) also went through infertility and had adopted their son and were in the process to adopt their daughter, but adoption just didn't feel right to us at the time. Because my husband and I are both in the medical field, Pershing fertility treatments just felt more right- especially after lots of prayer. I also had an extreme desire to experience pregnancy and childbirth since I have been an L&D nurse for over 8 years. In February 2014, I had surgery to resect the septum. They couldn't quite get the whole thing, but my doctor felt that it was a success. After healing and then attempting to try to get pregnant on our own and pursuing less invasive fertility help, we eventually turned to IVF, and Kate was conceived after a 3 year struggle with infertility. We also conceived 2 other embryos that we hope will become a sibling or siblings for Kate. Because of the uterine septum, I had an extremely complicated pregnancy. I had lots of preterm labor and a short cervix. I lived at the perinatologists office. When my cervix started shortening, I was only 20.6, so Kate was not yet viable. It was probably the scariest thing we had ever gone through knowing we could lose this precious baby that we already loved so much. Because of this and my infertility history, truly every day, moment, second of my pregnancy was a gift. By a miracle (the doctors still don't know why my cervix stopped shortening- they attribute it to prayer- no exaggeration at all), I made it to 36 weeks.


Before infertility, I knew exactly what type of birth I wanted and had everything planned out. After infertility and going through a high risk pregnancy, I just wanted a healthy baby and didn't care how she got here.

The doctor let us go on a "babymoon" as long as we were sort of close by, so we got a hotel room in midtown. We had dinner reservations, a couples massage, we were going to the dogwood festival, and then my water broke in the bed at the hotel on Sunday morning at 4:50! My husband was ready to go to the hospital right away, but my cervix had only been a fingertip at my 36 week checkup and I didn't feel painful contractions. I didn't feel in a hurry to go to the hospital at all, plus my fluid was clear and baby was moving well. We didn't find out the gender of our baby beforehand, so it was very exciting to know we would find out that day!

We slowly showered, packed up and checked out of the hotel. They were really nice about letting us cancel the second night. I knew I wouldn't be allowed to eat in labor at the hospital, so I insisted on stopping for breakfast. We went and got bagels at an Einstein brothers near the hotel. It was there that I started having painful contractions. Josh wanted to go in, but between the contractions and the thought of leaking fluid at a restaurant, we just went through the drive through and ate in the car. I also wanted to go home. My suitcase was in the car, but there were a couple of things I wanted to grab. I also needed to see my house for some reason. I contracted all the way home in the car and at the house. I had called the midwife from the hotel, but I called the hospital and spoke with the nurse who would be taking care of me (perks of being an l&d nurse). She asked if I was sure I was ruptured and I told her that there was a puddle in my driveway!! We then went to the hospital, which is about 5 miles from our house. We checked in, and my practice was not on, so the OB hospitalist took care of me. This was kind of a "full circle" moment because he also took care of me for a preterm labor episode at 23 weeks when we weren't sure if we would end up with a living baby at all. I told him that he would probably need to induce me because I was a fingertip that Friday in the office and my contractions weren't that close together. They hooked me up to the monitor and I was contracting more than I was feeling- every 2-5 min and I was 4-5 cm/90% effaced and 0 station! That was a big surprise! I refused to let my coworker give me an enema, and I knew I needed one, so I made everyone leave and I did it myself. Afterwards, they checked me again and I was a good 5 cm. I knew I was going to get the epidural no matter what because of my history of uterine surgery. If there was an emergency like a uterine rupture, I wanted to be awake for my c-section! I got the epidural at that point. During the epidural, my contractions got super painful. I was actually in tears. After that, we actually had a nice day. I am normally a very anxious person, but felt surprisingly chilled out. I munched on ice chips and played on my phone, and we watched the masters. I remember being incredibly thirsty!! I was determined not to make plans or be upset no matter how the labor went. I progressed rapidly until 9 cm, and then things just stopped. I was 9 cm for over 3 hours. My doctor gave me the c section talk and even the "1 more hour." At that point, I was really disappointed. My main prayer about the labor (besides of course the safety of baby and myself) was that I would have a scheduled, planned c-section OR an easy delivery. I didn't want to be one of those people who labored forever and then got cut. So, I did actually start to pray there. After my hour was up, I was still 9 cm. I felt like the baby's head was crooked because I had this hip pain everyone gets when their baby's head was crooked. No one believed me! ( she was crooked and now is in physical therapy for torticollis for being crooked in my pelvis the whole time). The doctor suggested that I try to push, which I thought was ridiculous because I was 9 cm and the baby was at a 0 station. I gave a little half push, and she shot all the way down!! I didn't realize how low she was, but the doctor said "wow, you are a great pusher" and everyone scrambled to get the room set up.

At the time, I was thinking they were wasting a set up! I spent this time explaining to my husband that I would push about 2 hours since I had an epidural and this was my first baby. The next contraction came, and I actually pushed for real, and she just came out- in that one single contraction!! Total pushing time was maybe 90 seconds. The doctor opened Kate's legs and asked my husband to announce the gender. He was so stunned by the quick birth, and he was so convinced that she had been a boy that he just stood there stammering. Later on, he said I kept looking for the penis and didn't see one, so I wondered if there was someone wrong with the baby!! I finally took over and looked and announced. It was a girl!!

Kate was screaming and pink. I just can't even express in words how thankful we were. She was super tiny and covered in vernix as well.

The team left because Kate was doing so well, and I was able to keep her on my chest. I nursed her right away and she fed for 20 minutes each side! She has been a champion nurser from the start- not at all like a 36 weeker. We are still going strong at almost 5 months old! The next couple of hours was a blur of discomfort! Because Kate was born so quickly, my perineum didn't stretch so I tore pretty badly. I am still healing up. I got stitches. My placenta refused to budge because it was stuck to my lovely uterine septum. The cord evulsed off the placenta and the doctor had to do a manual removal. He thought he got the whole thing, and he did an ultrasound after, which seemed clear. I bled A LOT! Right after that we called the parents (remember no one knew I was in labor or had delivered). They were so excited and shocked it was a girl! Everyone thought I was having a boy because of the shape of my belly. If people didn't like the name- Emma Katherine- I didn't really care because we loved it, and it was our daughter's name, not just some arbitrary name we were considering at that point. I was so incredibly thirsty. I drank about 72 of those little apple juices and of course started throwing up. My night shift nurse came in shortly after I delivered (Kate was born at 6:40 pm) and gave me some Zofran, which really helped. By the time the parents arrived, I was eating a gross hospital sandwich, but it tasted like a gourmet meal. I seriously scarfed down the whole thing. By the time everyone left, and Kate had her bath and assessment finished, it was super late- maybe 10:30 pm, and we were all exhausted. I was so thankful to get to my postpartum room. Josh saw us to our room, and then he had to go home to take care of the pets and because he had to work the next day. I was alone with Kate. This was the first time I really got to inspect her, and I was shocked at the amount of hair she had and how cute she was. It was really special to be just the two of us.


We had a super rough recovery. Kate ended up at Scottish rite for unstable blood sugars and temps for 4 days related to her prematurity and low birth weight. We were sent to the ER 8 hours after our discharge from Northside, and that was super scary. Also, at 5 weeks postpartum, I had a major hemorrhage due to a piece of placenta that was retained. I had a 2 am d&c, a blood transfusion and nearly lost my uterus. Whether I will be able to have more children is still up in the air, and I go back to the fertility specialist this winter to see if I need additional surgery on my uterus. Overall, we just have so much to be thankful for- from the perfect little girl we got to the fact that we are both okay. Kate is the greatest gift I have ever received and I pray daily that I can bless her with a brother or sister someday.

~Shared by Allison W.

Nehemiah's Birth

We had been praying since the first of June, for our 6th baby to make his appearance. Due to some family things, we were praying that he would come sooner rather than later. I had had contractions regularly off and on for over a month, which is very normal when you have had many pregnancies. My parents came Saturday afternoon, and not much had happened labor wise that day, so I was not expecting anything. We made plans for church and lunch for Sunday and got to be around 10 pm.

About 2:30 am I woke up because I really had to pee. After settling back in bed I realized I was contracting. It was already every 5 minutes, but they were not strong. I tried to go back to sleep, but was unable to. At 4:30 I decided to get up and go to the living room to read my Bible and pray. After reading a couple of the Psalms that have been helpful and praying for God's grace in this birth, I was able to nap for about an hour.

Around 6 am, my oldest came into the living room. I told him what was going on and asked him to pray for me, and he did. (He prayed every day for his brother to come.) Not long after this, the contractions got a bit stronger and were more like every 3 minutes. Jim came down the hall at 6:15 am and I told him I was in labor. We got a quick shower and the contractions changes. I knew then was in full blown labor. I called the doctor to help me determine if I should head on to the hospital, and since it was my 6th baby, we decided to go ahead so I did not have a baby in the car.

A little before 7 am we got in the car and headed to the hospital. God was very gracious to me and spaced out my contractions a little so I did not have too many really strong ones in the car. Once I got out at the hospital, they were right back again. I checked in and went to triage. They told me I was 6 cm and got my IV in place. (This is the WORST part of the whole experience every time hands down.) I kept having to stand up because I could not sit during contractions. I walked over to my labor room where they got the baby on the monitor and saw everything was fine. I stood up again and did not sit down until after my water broke.

Around 8 am my water finally broke, as I had been praying it would since getting into my labor room (so about 30 minutes). Jim called out to the nurses station to let them know, and they came in to check me. She told me I was 9 cm so I could not fully push yet. I looked at Jim and said, "I need to have a baby." I could feel my body pushing with each contraction. They were busy getting the room set up as I finished my labor.

At 8:20 am, our baby boy entered the world! We named him Nehemiah Ezra, which means "God is my comfort and help". This is what God has been teaching me so much the past few years, and has taught Jim and me together the past year.

I was so blessed to have the labor I prayed for (except for the IV) and it could not have been any better. We are so thankful to have Nehemiah in our family and cannot wait to see how else God will use his precious life.

Original story shared on The Manor Manor

Is An IV Necessary?

This is another common question that I hear frequently that has a simple yet complicated answer. Is an IV necessary?

NO!

However, very few hospitals will allow you to labor and deliver without one, even if you plan to have an un-medicated birth.

Why?

This is a precautionary measure, like not allowing you to eat, in case there is an emergency and you need a c-section or other surgery of some kind. IV access is important in those cases and can be difficult to get if needed quickly. This is why most doctors will require you to have access, known as an INT, a hep-lock or saline lock, if you are delivering at a hospital.

If you plan to be induced or plan to have an epidural, an IV is necessary because of the medicines given for induction, and an IV fluid bolus is necessary for an epidural.

For those who are healthy and have had an uncomplicated pregnancy who are completely opposed to an having an IV, consider a home birth or going to a birth center to avoid an IV.

What is your experience with IVs?

Can I Eat During Labor?

This is a very common question from first time moms, with both easy and complicated answers. Can you eat while in labor?

Absolutely! 

However, if you are in a hospital they will not let you have anything but clear liquids or Popsicles (find out what the rules are for where you are delivering). If you have an epidural, you cannot have anything but ice chips.

Why is this?

Primarily health care providers are concerned about the need for a c-section. If there is an emergency and intubation is needed there is a risk of aspiration, which is when stomach contents are thrown up and go into the lungs and can cause many problems. The likelihood of these things happening is not great, but hospitals are not likely to take chances with this.

Therefore, if you are wanting to eat while in labor, I recommend staying home as long as possible or plan to have a birth at home or in a birthing center that allows you to eat.

Did you eat during labor?

Can I Become Tolerant of Epidurals?

One of my friends who has four children asked me if it's possible for epidurals to become less effective because of becoming tolerant of the medicines in the epidural as hers had become less effective with each birth. I did not know the answer. So at one of my prenatal appointments I asked my doctor about this.

My doctor said that this is not really possible because of the way epidurals work. An epidural is a temporary block on the nerves that is there and then goes away. There is not a way to build up the medicine because it is not metabolized like medicines that you ingest. He said that it could be possible if you were given epidurals every day, but this is not likely for women having babies.

Why then were the epidurals less effective each time? I have no idea and neither did my doctor.

Have you had the experience of epidurals being less effective with each delivery?

Barrett's Birth Story

So, here's the story of how little WB came into this world.... I was scheduled to be induced Monday morning, since my specialist didn't want me to go past 40 weeks due to my history. I had planned a natural waterbirth and did everything to try to naturally induce my labor, but nothing worked. When We arrived at the hospital, they too, tried to start labor without drugs, the balloon method dialated me to 5cm but did not start labor, so, then came the pitocin! The one thing I wanted to avoid the most (besides epidural). So, finally after enduring 14 hours of pitocin induced labor, I hit transition (which is right when you are just about ready to deliver) it came hard and fast. We stopped the pitocin which made my contractions less intense, and I finally felt like I COULD continue to birth without asking for an epidural. However, during this time, most women throw up, myself included. Well.....as I was throwing up and convulsing, my body decided to rip the muscle off of my rib bone, I heard a pop, and instantly felt EXCRUCIATING pain and pretty much became immobile. I continued to get sick, adding to the rib pain, while contracting causing more pain than than I could have ever imagined. Which meant there was literally no possible way at all I could have pushed through that pain even if wanted to. My body simply would not have let me if I tried. So, in came the epidural. Well, the anesthesiologist hit a nerve, thus, causing EVEN MORE extreme pain, and then yelled at me for moving because it made my back spasm, which was not something I could control. So he stuck me again and hit another nerve! He spent a full 2 minutes jabbing nerves, and me begging him to stop! At first, it only worked on half my body, but it finally caught up to the other side. So after a quick nap I was finally ready to push, the pain had subsided, and I just wanted him here. The nurses came in, I pushed for less than 10 mins, and then he was in my arms! FINALLY! So after everything we did to prepare for our peaceful, natural birth, we did not, however, prepare for craziness that actually happened. But in the end none of that even mattered, he's here safe and sound and I couldn't be more thankful.

When I asked Ivy about sharing her story this is what she said:
"I would love to share my story on your blog, I'm sure it will help other women understand that no matter what our plan is, essentially, it's out of our control."

~Shared by Ivy L.